Avoiding Wine Disappointment--Maximizing Enjoyment...

Avoiding Wine Disappointment


You are searching for a gift to give a fellow wine lover and have just discovered, what appears to be, a new wine shop to overspend on wine. It has rare collectible bottles, it has what appears to be well selected obscurities that promise to enhance your wine geek status among your fellow vinous nerds and seems to do all this at prices suggesting that you can buy lots and lots without refinancing the house.

You start browsing. First, you check out your favorite categories -- in my case that would be Rhone, Provencal Wines and the Italians. Then you go down you priority list --- Spain, Red Burgundy, Bordeaux, Loire Valley, California etc. ultimately reaching wines you are unlikely ever to buy but still like to check out -- it is wine after all. If all is well with the world you are excited, exhilarated and ready to part with you hard earned money.

Unfortunately, this story of hope and unbridled optimism often has a different ending. What annoys my inner Master of Wine (MW). This scenario is often sullied by the presence of old stale inventory, poorly handled and stored wine and piles upon piles of barely saleable "distributor closeouts." It is remarkable how often one or all of these problems manifest themselves on the floors and shelves of wine retailers. What is worse -- these are not the only potential disasters a wine consumer might be subjected to. Uninformed, ill informed sales staff can also be a plague that one has to deal with -- although this problem wanes as you gain your own store of wine knowledge.

So given this nightmare scenario do we just throw in the towel and order a beer? Unfortunately, after a couple of incidents similar to the above, many do. As a lover of wine and a former retailer this troubles me. What then is the unsuspecting or neophyte wine consumer to do?

In order maximize the probability that you bring home a pleasurable wine you need to know some indicators that will enable you to navigate the wine retail experience with a minimum of disappointment. Most importantly you need to be able to identify a bottle that is likely be off, bad, oxidized, stale, or flawed. While this is not a totally precise process -- as there are exceptions to all these hints -- by following these tips you may eliminate some regrettable purchases.

Beware -- old vintages. Yes, I know the lore of wine has it that aged wine is desirable wine. Not always. In fact the vast majority of the wine produced in the world is designed to be consumed in the first year, give or take, of its life. So that five vintage old bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau on the shelf of you favorite retailer is likely vinegar or worse. Same for the seven year old bottle of Sancerre. Now this aging thing is, without doubt, a moving target. You see aging, like most chemical reactions, is dependant on temperature; heat is the enemy of wine, potentially a major issue here in Florida (where I live) or wherever non-air-conditioned retailers ply their trade.

Do not buy wines with bulging corks -- a signal of many things, none of them good. Beware wine that has been on the shelf and exposed to the sun (another Florida problem). Dusty bottles are another red flag, which may tell you more about the fastidiousness of your retailer. Also do not, I repeat, do not purchase any wine that has leaked around the cork -- reddish, brown stains are a tell tale sign, as are small globules of really thick oxidized wine. Lastly, be very wary of wine that is marketed in large stacks labeled as "distributor closeout" and selling for almost nothing -- there is a reason the distributor "gave" the wine away.


Given this list of daunting guidelines what should you the consumer do ? Do what you should do when you decide on any service provider, butcher, baker, or candle stick maker. Ask questions, listen to answers and see if you like what you are sold -- in other words develop a relationship with a reputable wine merchant. Tell her what you like, what you don't like, what wines you are curious about -- he will love you for it and you will drink better for it